


stay

by SheWhoMustNotBeNamed



Category: Haven - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:10:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoMustNotBeNamed/pseuds/SheWhoMustNotBeNamed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> and I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and I never come back to this town again</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sootandstars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sootandstars/gifts).



> I finally wrote something. And it's for you, Lizzi. Happy birthday. 
> 
> This takes place at some point in Season 1. 

_ha·ven_

_noun \ˈhā-vən\_

_1: a place where you are protected from danger, trouble, etc_

_2:  a place of safety :  refuge_

_3:  a place offering favorable opportunities or conditions_

It was almost funny, really.

The person who named the town must've had a healthy sense of irony.

She smiles bitterly.

Anyone who had ever visited or lived in Haven, Maine would know that it was the exact opposite of a safe place.

~

Technically, she's free to leave. But it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.

She's in too deep now.

They're in this together, Audrey and Nathan, and she knows she cannot possibly leave him to deal with everything on his own.

She would never be able to live with herself if she did that to him.

It's something more than that, though.

Her past.

Funny how she hadn't given it much thought until she saw that photograph. But now it's as if she's five years old again, with someone dangling a prize above her, too high for her to reach. She tries and tries, and she gets closer and closer, but she still can't reach it. The need to grab the prize, to finally know, is what traps her here.

They say curisoity killed the cat. Maybe there's some truth to that.

~

Sometimes, she regrets coming to Haven in the first place.

She hates herself for even thinking that, for being so selfish. But when it's two am and she's still awake because she knows that if she closes her eyes she won't be able to erase the images of everyone she couldn't save from her mind, she can't help it.

She'd never admit it, but she can't help but wonder what her life would have been like if it weren't for this accursed town.

Would she be happier? Would these nightmares no longer haunt her?

And maybe the answer to those questions is yes. Maybe she'd be better off. 

She knows it's no use dwelling on, though. No amount of regret can change the decisions she's already made.

She can, however, control the future.

She can save this town and everyone in it.

Sometimes, that's the only thing that keeps her going.

_(she always had a habit of taking on more than she could handle)_


End file.
